Rough Men, Rougher Answers — An Interview with Cougar and Vaughn

By Lyra Vale, Special Correspondent for the Six Kingdoms Gazette

There are interviews you prepare for professionally.

Then there are interviews where you quietly ask yourself if carrying a hidden dagger might be a good idea.

Interviewing Cougar and Vaughn fell firmly into the second category.

The two infamous umanomagi mercenaries arrived late, loud, and smelling faintly of sweat, ale, and bad decisions. Cougar sprawled into his chair like a predator claiming territory while Vaughn leaned against the wall twirling his enormous warhammer as if property damage was merely a suggestion.

And somehow… I still managed to keep the interview going for nearly an hour.

Mostly.

Lyra Vale:

Cougar, many people first became aware of you during the infamous Battle Ring match against Cricket. Looking back now, how do you view that fight?

Cougar:

First, nice walkin' sticks! And second, lots of folks KNEW ol' Cougar OWNED the Battle Ring long before that fight. So how do I view it? Easy. I won.

The kid thought he was tougher than he was. Everybody was cheerin’ for him like he was some kinda hero. But heroes bleed same as everybody else.

Well… except the bug freak didn’t bleed much.

Cougar grins smugly.

Still choked him out though.

Lyra Vale:

Cricket was only fifteen years old at the time.

Cougar:

And ugly. Don’t forget ugly.

Look, bug-boy stepped into the Ring. Nobody dragged him there. He wanted respect? Fine. Respect gets earned.

Besides… he had it coming.

Lyra Vale:

Many in the Cirque di Umanomagi feel otherwise.

Cougar:

Many in the Cirque are soft.

Vaughn:

Damn right.

Lyra Vale:

You weren’t actually there, Vaughn.

Vaughn:

Doesn’t matter.

Cougar crushed him. I seen enough fights to know how it went down.

Lyra Vale:

The official records say Cricket survived far longer than expected against you, Cougar. Some even called it impressive.

Cougar:

snorts

Impressive for a loss is still a loss in my book, lady.

Kid flipped around good. Fast little roach. Hard to pin down. But eventually everybody stops movin’ when Cougar gets serious.

Lyra Vale:

Except Tapps.

The room changed instantly.

Cougar’s grin tightened.

Vaughn stopped twirling the hammer.

Interesting.

Cougar:

Tapps ain’t special.

Lyra Vale:

Some consider you a poor man’s Tapps.

Vaughn burst out laughing.

Cougar did not.

Cougar:

Who says that?

Lyra Vale:

Quite a few people, actually.

They say Tapps is more disciplined. More dangerous. More tactical.

That perhaps your victories rely more on intimidation and brutality.

Cougar:

Lemme tell you somethin’, sweetheart—

Lyra Vale:

Miss Vale.

Cougar:

Sure. Whatever helps ya sleep.

Tapps hides behind honor. He's weak that way. I don’t need to hide. That’s the difference.

When I walk into a fight, people know somebody’s leavin’ broken.

That’s why they remember me.

Vaughn:

And because he’s prettier.

Lyra Vale:

I’ll… leave that for readers to decide.

Vaughn, you joined later during the second bootcamp initiative, correct?

Vaughn:

Yeah. Was crackin’ heads in bars before that.

Got boring.

Then the Evertree fighting kicked off and I knew that was for me. Pick this hammer up in da war. Been smashing heads ever since.

They were lucky, Cougar and me showed up. We cleared more 'n one battlefield.

Lyra Vale:

“Lucky” is one way to phrase it.

Before the war, Cougar, you became somewhat infamous during the rescue of Princess Yin in Innitiate. Critics say your approach was reckless and nearly doomed the mission.

Cougar:

Bah.

If not for me they never even get inside that castle.

Cricket got lucky. Everybody talks about him saving the princess but who opened the path? Me.

Who tore through guards? Me.

Who made the nobles wet themselves? Also me.

Lyra Vale:

Weren’t you poisoned during that mission?

Cougar:

Assassins were shootin' poisoned arrows. I took my fair share. If not for me I'd say no one was going no further.

Vaughn:

He puked for two days.

Cougar:

SHUT UP.

Lyra Vale:

So the mighty Cougar was defeated by a couple arrows?

Cougar:

Poisoned arrows.

Big difference.

Besides, I still killed the guy who did it.

Lyra Vale:

You two seem proud of your reputations.

Vaughn:

Should be.

Every fight, first in. Last out. Never lost.

Cougar:

Killed more tech-head soldiers than anybody.

Lyra Vale:

Records may disagree with that statement.

Cougar:

Records are written by cowards behind desks.

Vaughn:

Exactly.

Lyra Vale:

And yet here I am… behind a desk.

Vaughn:

Yeah but you’re prettier than most desk people.

Lyra Vale:

My professionalism is truly being stretched thin today.

Cougar:

C’mon, Vale. You know you like dangerous men.

Lyra Vale:

I like surviving interviews.

There’s a difference.

Lyra Vale:

One final question.

Many people view the Tech War as the beginning of a much larger conflict between magic and technology. Do either of you believe another war is coming?

For the first time during the interview, both men grew quiet.

Even Vaughn.

Cougar:

War never stops.

It just changes face

s.

Vaughn:

And there’s always somebody stupid enough to start another one.

Lyra Vale:

Comforting thought.

At this point Vaughn attempted to ask if I was “free later,” while Cougar insisted he could “show me what real fighters are like.”

For the sake of journalistic integrity—and personal safety—the interview was concluded shortly afterward.

Still… beneath the arrogance, the boasts, and the bruised egos, one thing became clear:

Men like Cougar and Vaughn are products of the world the Six Kingdoms created.

Violence made famous.War turned into celebrity.Survival mistaken for glory.

And somewhere out there, I suspect Cricket would have a very different version of these stories.

Honestly?

I’d rather interview him next.

Get the FULL story on Cougar and Vaughn HERE!